You say it’s your birthday…. It’s my birthday too?

Okay people, talk to me. There’s something I just do not understand. Something that really gets under my parental skin. 

Backstory:

Last night was The Gerber Baby’s first birthday. A grand time was had by all except her brother DJ Qualls who was a tad clingy and whiny and, um, possessive of all things his. And not. Fine. Whatever. My children have been known to have an off day here and there. I’m cool with that.

Birthday girl was flippin’ adorable. She loved her gift from us (an awesome Gerber Baby sized plush chair – perfect for climbing and wrestling) and was just generally awesome overall. Laughed and grinned all through the happy birthday song. Love. Her. So sweet I could eat her!!

But

DJ Qualls, like I said, was having none of it and had set his whine amps to 11. So his mother, I guess in an attempt to make him feel – I dunno, like the day was also about him? was letting him choose which slice of cake people got, what communal toys the rest of his cousins got to play with, the color of the plates his cousins got to eat from. She also bought him a gift “from The Gerber Baby.” 

I know lots of people who let their kids pick and choose for other kids and it seriously drives me crazy. I hate it. I don’t even sort of get it. I get offended for my child – even though she doesn’t care if her plates yellow or blue just as long as there’s cake on it. 1) I don’t want her trained that other people get to make decisions for her and 2) HE IS NOT THE BOSS OF HER.

I also don’t get the gift for him on his sister’s birthday. It’s his sister’s day. It’s not his birthday. Why does he get a gift? What does that accomplish? It seems to me that it’s setting up a future mind set of ‘how can I make this more about me?’. Yes, there’s an argument to be made that it helps ease the jealousy when all the attention’s on the sibling, but c’mon.  Bringing presents to both kids when visiting a newborn I get. It’s the first time in a big sibling’s life that they’re not the shining star and blah blah blah newbabyisAWESOMEandyou’reoldnewscakes, but after that, let’s learn the gentle lesson that life isn’t always about you.

Obviously we never did the you get a gift thing on your sister’s birthday. I explained very clearly that it was her sister’s special day and that lots of people would be bringing her sister gifts and that she might feel a little sad that she wasn’t getting presents, but that was too bad. She would have a birthday in a few months and then her sister would be ignored. Suck it up.  I don’t think I actually said, “suck it up,” but I might have. It sounds like something that I’d let slip.

*sigh* It’s difficult being a perfect parent.

But seriously, would someone please explain it to me?