Things I Want Thursday

 

This:

  

Come on. What’s more appetizing than a thick, green penis buttering your corn on the cob? It’d be worth the outrage from Bossy Grandma. She hates me anyway. Plus? Watching the expressions on the faces of the men in my life? I’d be all, “What? Is something wrong with the corn on the knob butterer?”

 

This:

This is just plain cool. I wish I’d had one back when I had mall hair, neon socks, and a Walkman. What would be even more awesome would be if you could write on it with eraseable marker. Mine would be a mix of A-Ha!, Whitesnake, and Milli Vanilli. Blame it on the rain, baby. Blame it on the rain.

 

And this:

Remember that I have 3 daughters. Three daughters who LOVE unicorns. Three daughters who LOVE unicorns and fall down a lot. Three clumsy daughters who LOVE unicorns so much that I even relented and let them embed this video onto their computers. Because I like the heey at the end.

Don’t judge me.