Wii obese

Yesterday Jack and I decided that enough was enough and that we were going to do our modified version of the 6 Week Body Do-over starting Monday. Five years ago, before my brother’s wedding, Jack and I ordered the program off late night television, followed it, and wound up losing 30 pounds each. In yes, 6 weeks.  Since then we’ve gained it back in spades, and in frustration with myself for being unable to maintain I threw the program in the garbage last summer – hence the modified version. ANYWAY, we’ve decided to do this and it was almost as if the gods approved because today? Today I found the holy grail. Today I found the Wii Fit.

All summer long we have been saving our change with the Wii Fit in mind.  Last month we reached our goal but not a Fit was in sight, so you can imagine that we were pretty excited.  That is until I actually had to stand on it and watch my mii turn into a giant blueberry. “That is obese,” Wii informed me in the cutest of voices. The cuteness did not lessen the sting.

Jack mosied over. “No way!” He almost looked impressed. I glared at him. “Just wait until your turn.” He puffed his chest and thumped it Somoan Warrior style and said, “Bring it!”

After Wii established again that I am woefully obese, off-balance, and about 16 years older than my actual age, I stepped off and handed the wii-mote to my beloved.  That fucker, while obese, scored 12 whole years YOUNGER than his actual age. He gloated and has been all night. “Too bad it didn’t calculate your MENTAL age,” I’d say under my breath only to have him flex. “Twenty-six, babeeeeeee! Twenty. Six!”

So, Project Fat Ass has commenced. I did 30 minutes of Wii fitness tonight. A bead of sweat actually dripped off my forehead and onto my yoga mat.  It was that. Intense. Or I am just that. Outofshape.