Now that I’ve had an entire day to reboot my attitude I feel I must apologize for my pity-moi post. Not so much about the being fat part, but for the jealous part. The envying of a woman I don’t even know, a woman who could have all sorts of obstacles to climb that I don’t even know about. A woman who got where she is on the best seller list because she worked her ass off instead of simply sitting on it.
There is a teenager who used to live in my neighborhood (and has sinced moved) who quite possibly has the best looking body known to mankind. She’s tall, but not towering. She’s slender, but not skinny. She’s toned, but not muscular. She’s a walking pilates commercial. Nearly every day, weather permitting, you would find her roller blading around the neighborhood, ear phones plugged in, family dog jogging by her side, guys on the sidewalk suddenly forgetting how to form words as she passed. Sometimes she brought her little sister with her, but mostly it was just her, her music, and her dog.
I used to envy her and the woman I pictured her growing into. And then a few years back I learned from a neighbor that Shelby Rollergirl has Steel Magnolia type diabetes. Just like Julia Roberts’ character in that movie, Shelby has to take meticulous care of her body or she will die. Every bit of food has to be recorded, blood has to be drawn several times a day, all sorts of bad stuff… and I was envying that. Because at times I can be a massive, aching, ungrateful ass.
I thought I’d learned a lesson from that, but apparently I have not. Or maybe I have but I slip occassionally. Either way, it’s time to grow up, don’t you think? Alli-oops or get off the pot, si? If I want to lose the weight or write the book or publish the one I’ve got hidden in a drawer, then I’m going to have to stop finding excuses for failing to do so. There’s a song that goes something like, if my life is for rent, and I don’t have to buy, then I deserve nothing more than I get, ’cause nothing I have is truly mine.
I’m feeling tres Doctor Phil right now. Join me. Release your inner bald guy, take charge of your life…. Let’s figure out what works and do it!