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Oh my gawd y’all

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I just remembered! You know how you wake up knowing you’ve had a dream, but not knowing really what it was about and then at some time during the day it all comes flooding back? Yeah. That. I just had that.

So last night I dreamed that Jack and I were hosting Martha Stewart. She was doing a series on how the average american was totally lacking in social graces. Manners and hostessing skills were dead and she was going to prove it via reality television. In my dream Jack and I were a little surprised to find Martha camping out in our living room, but she wouldn’t go anywhere near out guest room because Jack Black was holed up in there and she found him repulsive. My Jack kept pulling me aside and stage whispering things like, “We don’t have any olives! What if she wants a martini?!” and I was getting more and more upset because I didn’t even know how to make a martini. Martha, of course loved this, and kept popping up in front of “the camera” and giving these knowing nods. “She doesn’t know how to make a martini. It’s important to keep a bar recipe book on hand. I like to cover mine with vintage lace.” In the end Jack and I failed and humiliated ourselves in front of millions.

But now I’m thinking that maybe it might be worth the effort to learn how to make a good martini. That and that it’s time for Jack Black to get out of our guest room. You know, in case Martha comes a’ callin’.

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About Sassy

Absolutely average in every way.

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