Just when I thought Renee was unique, Tertia’s kids over at So Close have to go and have the same weird hang-up that she does. Monsters. (Or Monsth-thers in Nee-speak.) “Hurry Momma! We godda hide from de monsth-thers!” and, “Look out, Momma! Look outta for de monsth-thers!!” are common phrases at chez Rosie’s. (As are, “Clean up your room or I will cut your hair in your sleep!” and, “Because I like your sister better that’s why!”) But yeah, monsth-thers abound. As do ghosts. Which is weird because we don’t talk about monsters and ghosts. We don’t watch shows that feature monsters and ghosts. We don’t read books about them either (because we don’t read). The reason we don’t is because Jack, Amy, and Helen are chickenshit.
Seriously. My 6’4″ big bad husband is one big scaredy cat and he passed that gene onto our daughters. All it takes is one glimpse of something like T.A.P.s or an advertisement for The Possession of Emily Rose and we have to sleep with the lights on. We being the adults. Because Jack is afraid of things that go bump in the night. Even though he claims not to be a believer in things supernatural. The night after I forced him to watch The Sixth Sense and The Thirteenth Ghost? Not a good time. He kept waking me up with all his jumping out of a sound sleep. Needless to say, he’s a little upset about Renee’s newest obsession. “Where is she getting this?!” he demands – perplexed. Bothered. Uncomfortable.
I think it’s funny if not slightly disconcerting because I am a believer in ghosts or entities and the collective subconscious. So when Renee says, “Daddy! Dere’s a ghost behind yewwwww!!! Run!!!” – once I stop laughing at his expression of terror I say, “Tell that ghost that he doesn’t belong here. Tell that ghost to go home,” because that’s what the ghost hunters say on TLC. So now I’ve got a daughter who will look up in the middle of playing and say to thin air, “Yew donna long heeereah! Go home!” Freaks Jack’s shit out. Gives him the oogies. Not that he’s a believer or anything.
Is she seeing things? Are there ghosts hanging out here? Has the veil between our world and theirs been lifted? According to Jack, absolutely NOT. BECAUSE THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS GHOSTS AND PLEASE STOP SAYING THERE ARE OR I’M GOING TO GET SCARED AND DISGUISE IT WITH AN ANGRY RESPONSE! But I’m not convinced.