After nearly a month long vacation Jack’s alarm clock screeched its wake up call at 5:48 this morning. I know. 5:48? Who does that? Anyway, its shrill “WAKE UP” call reverberated through my sinuses (which, there’s a story there, but that’ll come later when it doesn’t make me heave to mention) and our home and Jack returned to work. It was time. As much as I adore him and love spending time with him and all his cute anal retentive ways, things were beginning their downward spiral. In short, we were starting to pick at each other.
“Sooo… you know the dishwasher’s empty, right?” said he.
“Yeeees,” I drew out slowly, picking up my spoon so I could enjoy the first bite of my generic chicken noodle soup.
He nodded. “‘Cause this morning, after breakfast? You put your cereal bowl in the sink instead of the dishwasher. Again.”
*sound of me slurping up an impressively long generic noodle*
“And the dishwasher was empty,” he finished. “Like it is now. After I ran a load and emptied it. All by myself.”
“I picked up your Hanes this morning,” I said. “Do we need to discuss this further?”
“I’m not getting your point. What do my briefs have to do with you leaving dirty dishes in the sink when the dishwasher has been loaded, run, and emptied by me. Consistently.”
“I don’t leave skid marks in my cereal bowls. When you put my rinsed out cereal bowl into the empty dishwasher, you are in no danger of touching my shit. When I pick up your underwear, I’m rolling the dice against an e coli infection.”
Him digging his heels in. “Don’t pile your dishes in the sink.”
Me, digging in. “Stop leaving your shitty drawers on our bathroom floor.”
He broke into that beautiful, boyish grin that had captured my heart lo those many years ago. “Yeah, those were nasty. I was all, ‘oh man! I haven’t fuzzy pumpered barber shopped like that in a LONG time!'”
I sensed a victory. “So we’re in agreement? You’ll stop leaving your nasties on the bathroom floor?”
“Fine,” he said with a sigh and an eye-roll. I finished my soup, rinsed my bowl and left it in the sink for him to take care of.