I can’t wait for this poetry unit to end. 5th grade poetry y’all? In a word? Painful.
Her assignment? To write a poem. And she did. She wrote a poem, and it was bad. Very, very, very bad.
I like my cat because she has fuzzy fur
and I can rely on her
her and her fuzzy fur.
Rainbows remind me of my colorful cat (her cat is black and white)
My sister bugs me, but my rainbow kitty doesn’t.
Clouds and butterflies are my cat and I love them too.
Clouds are fluffy like my cat.
My cat eats butterflies because she is NOT a vegetarian.
I love my cat.
You guys. I couldn’t let her turn it in. I was all, “Honey? This is your poem?”
And she was all, “Yep.”
And I was all, “Hmm. Do you love it? Does it express how you feel… poetically?”
And she was all shruggy and, “Well. Yeah. I love my cat. That’s how I feel. And sometimes I rhymed, but poetry doesn’t have to rhyme all the time motherrrrrrrrrrr.”
And I was all sage-like with the nod and the, “That’s true. But usually? Poems either rhyme or they don’t. It’s… unusual to have a poem that does both. Like this one with the rhyming and then the not rhyming. All in the same poem.”
And she got that look on her face that says when are you going to die already old woman?! and said, “It’s MY poem. It’s how I feel. And it’s finished. And I’m NOT writing another one because poetry is stupid and expressing how I feel about something in rhymes is dumb. What’s wrong with just saying ‘bad weather makes me sad because it means we can’t go outside?’ Why does it have to be all, ‘the rain spoiled my life. Now I’ll never be a wife. Instead of love I’ll have… whatever rhymes -ife.’ Seriously.”
And you know what? She’s right. “You’re right,” said I. “But I think your teacher wants you to rhyme. Or not rhyme. But not both.”
In the end we came up with this little gem.
I wanted to write about my cat
but it was to0 hard to rhyme
the words that all describe her
and it took a lot of time.
So I won’t write about my cat.
Instead I’ll let you know
that writing poetry isn’t for me
The Bible tells me so.
I can’t wait to see what she gets on this one.