The other day people woke up at the ass crack of dawn and drove from miles around to witness something akin to the 2nd coming.
They had been talking about it for weeks. After years of waiting and wondering, “Will it ever come?” everything came together. The signs were in place. Thursday morning, 10:00 a.m., the crowd swelled with anticipation and dare I say rapture?
And finally, finally, the chains were thrown off and the doors opened. Hallelujah! As prophecized, It. Had. Come.
To Furniture Fair I said, “Let my people go!” To Value Shitty I said, “Let my people go!” To Verbargs I said, “Let my people go!” To Target and Walmart and TJ MaXX, “We will no longer be slaves to your discounted accessories!”
We in the mid-west have been SAVED, and our god is Swedish.