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Soccer Mom

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Helen is an excellent soccer player. She enjoys the sport and we enjoy watching her enjoy herself.  We’ve been playing for 5 seasons now and I’ve noticed that as the seasons progress the parents’ intensity level rises.  Last year they had “spirit day” where faces were painted, banners were waved, and we all looked like giant Smurfs. Thank God we won that game.  I think this year is going to be even worse.

The rainy season is upon us and because it won’t. stop. raining notevenforaminute, her team hasn’t had any practices. The parents are getting nervous. A few have taken it on themselves to secure playing time at the indoor soccer arena – which they oh so breezily told me that we’ll all split the cost for.  I suppose I should be grateful, but really all I can see is a bunch of intense parents drinking their Starbucks and yelling at their girl to “FOCUS, ARIANA!! GET THE BAAAAALLLLLLL!!” I can already see the tense set of their jaws as the clock tics down during a close game.  I can already see me in face paint.

I miss the days when my nugget sized little girl would join the herd and chase the ball around the field with absolutely no idea of what they were doing, but my goodness, wasn’t it funny?!  The parents weren’t intense then, and instead of lips set in a straight line, they smiled and laughed and just enjoyed the moment.


About Sassy

Absolutely average in every way.

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