Because my children are merely average they’ve just become interested in Harry Potter. We must read the books, we must watch the movies, we must talk about it all. the. time. I have been forced to take quiz after quiz after quiz to find out which Harry Potter character I am most like and which house I would be sorted into. I am consistently Ron Weasly and a Hufflepuff – which, fine, but the brilliant Ms. Rowlings couldn’t have come up with a better name than Hufflepuff? Ravenclaw. Griffyndoor. Syltherine. Hufflepuff? Really? Not Badgertooth? Badgerine? WOLVERINE? But, whatever, Hufflepuffs are loyal and hard working and secretly gay as hell.
Our conversations go a lot like this.
A: Mom! Harry Potter or Ron?
A: Ron or Ginny (pronounced with a hard ‘g’ because we’re average)?
Me: Ron. And it’s ZZZzzzzhhhhinny, not Guinea.
A: Whatever. Severous or Ron?
A: Ew! Mom! Gross! He’s like … mean and old. Ew!
Me: But he’s played by Alan Rickman. The Velvet Voice. Passion seeps from that man’s pores!
A: Ew! I’m telling Dad! OH! Hermoine or Ginny?
That particular game will last until I put my foot down. “RON! RON! It will always BE RON unless it’s ALAN RICKMAN’S VOICE!”
A: Okay, okay. Dang! You don’t have to be so harsh. OH! If you could be anything but a Hufflepuff –