and the ankle that I sprained because I’m a giant, klutzy douche is FINALLY starting to heal. You don’t unnerstan! I have had 2 very noticeably different sized ankles for over 2 years. I can’t wear anything with any sort of incline (i.e. heel) or I die. I had to buy 2 pair of the same dress shoes in different sizes so I had something to wear to an IMPORTANT EVENT. An 8 on my left foot and a 10 on my right. TEN people. I felt very much like that dutch girl on Little House on the Prairie. Remember her? She had one leg shorter than the other and limped pitifully? Nellie probably threw things at her. Nellie was pretty awesome. Anyway, at the end of that episode Pa or Uncle Fester or whoever had the ba-rilliant idea to alter her short-legged shoe so that she could stand proud and tall and… level. Thank goodness for Pa and his quick thinking. So yeah, I felt like that girl. Only with a swollen ankle and foot.
But now the swelling is going away because I went to my chiropractor and she wrapped some conductive magnet things around my ankle and made me sit there for 10 minutes feeling like a giant ass thinking that maybe this was some sort of Punk’d thing. The timer went off, she came back in and I was sent on my merry way wondering what purpose exactly that had served and why it had cost me $40. Three days later? A noticeable difference in pain and swelling. I’m jus’ sayin’ is all. Electrocution works y’all – and not just on felons with no hope of rehabilitation.