So today Amelia has a birthday party to attend. Natch I failed to buy wrapping paper or a gift bag because, let’s face it, I’m one cheap bitch when it comes to buying gifts for kids I don’t know. This morning as I looked at the grocery bag and markers I’d set out for her to decorate as “wrapping,” I felt guilty. My kid was going to look bad because her mother decided to over-extend her finances at IKEA (compact, hidden shoe storage RULEZ!! Go, Ikea! WOO!!). A quick scramble in the back utility/junk/where things go to die room found us green wrapping paper. Yay us!! We celebrated!!
Then we remembered that we’d used all our tape making piggie noses and giving mommy a jowl lift. So we stopped dancing and wept like the little pink haired anime girls we are:
THEN I realized that I’m awesome and have a creative, one might say BRILLIANT streak, and I dashed, DASHED, I SAY! back to the supply closet/room of doom and returned with painters tape! Blue! Blue painters tape that worked for shit in actually keeping the paint off my woodwork, but MIGHT work well for this. I wrapped and taped and we all stood back to admire what we had created. And by we and mean I.
It was underwhelming. But I was not thwarted nor was I disheartened! In an effort to make a cheap clearance craft kit look exciting I’d let Amelia pick an 88 cent box of candy to put with it. Miracles of miracles it matched the wrapping paper!!! BUT painter’s tape wouldn’t hold it to the box and Elmer would take too long to dry. Again we wailed and ripped at our garmets.
UNTIL Jack saved the day.
Uh… I mean until JACK FAMED WARRIOR HERO ON HIS VALIANT AND NOBLE STEED saved the day with some sort of apoxy thing he uses on the pool. Let’s just hope it doesn’t leak through the candy box and poison the poor recipient.
Readers Reader!! I give you our creation.