At first it was fun writing this blog and sharing my stories. I felt like I had something to say, something that would benefit the public, something that another struggling mother might read that would help guide her along a path I’d already traveled. Turns out? Not so much. I’m simply not that interesting and my stories are not that funny and my advice? Not so good. You’re just going to have to struggle along like I did. Sorry.
After thinking about it for a long time I’ve come to realize that my daughters deserve all the privacy I can give them. Writing about them publically in a medium that can never be erased is a direct assault on their lives. Yes, our mothers kept journals of their lives as mothers, but they didn’t publish them. I didn’ t have to worry about someone finding my mom’s blog and 1)learning about her sex life or 2) learning that someone had eaten poo when she was potty training. Sure, I’d had secrets betrayed, but they weren’t broadcast in a forum that never forgets.
I tried to be mindful of the older girls’ privacy whenever I wrote about them, but looking back, I see that I wasn’t. Names were changed, sure, but pictures were posted and situations were discussed, and none of it with their permission. When Olivia was younger, she was generic looking so I figured no harm in posting pictures or telling all those delicious baby/toddler stories that are universal and yet still unique. But she is older now. She’s 4 and looks like a little girl as opposed to every baby/toddler you’ve ever seen. It simply doesn’t feel right anymore to put so much of her out there. So, until I can find an approach to blogging that doesn’t compromise my children’s faith in me I’m not going to write about them. That puts a damper on the whole Mommy Blog thing, eh?