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A woman of a certain age…

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My boobs.
My boobs

I had my first ever mammogram this morning. At nearly 40 it was time. I awoke this morning with a vague case of nerves. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I mean, I had an idea, but as far as the actual procedure, I was a little in the dark.  I don’t want you to be in the dark so I’ll tell you how it went for me. Even though it’s about my boobs.

 
You’re welcome.
 
It was easy. I stripped from the waist up, washed my deodorant off with the provided MammogramWipe, donned my open faced surgical gown and stepped into the room where the action happened.  In there was one of these:
My Mammy

My Mammy

Don’t be intimidated. It’s not that imposing.
 
 
 
 
I was asked to step up to the machine and put my right breast on the plate, lean forward, and sort of hug the machine with my right arm.  Then she squished my boob from the top down.  Remember ladies, your boob is more than the fun bits. It goes under your pits and above the swell. 
I was then instructed to hold my other breast out of the way with my other hand.  I stood still for about 10 seconds, the x-ray was taken, and then I was asked to “lift my breast up off the plate” and step back. So I did. The technician made sure she got the shot then rotated the machine to the side, asked me to step forward and put my boob back on the plate, hug the machine, pull my other boob out of the shot, and then stand very still while she squished my boob from the side  like this : 
–>] (  *  ) [<–.  Repeat with the left breast.
 
 
 
That was it. It wasn’t without minimal discomfort, but nothing you haven’t experienced squeezing between a pulled out chair and the wall, you know?  In other words, don’t be a puss. Let your boob be squz. It might save your life.
 
 
 
I should have the results in 2 weeks. I can put it out of my head between now and then.
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About Sassy

Absolutely average in every way.

4 responses »

  1. Having had something like 10 mammo’s already (thanks Ann for the “family history” tag) I’ve always said they aren’t so bad. I will say as the boobies shrank there was more pressure feeling – lucky you endowed girls. Another bonus – read about an artist using blown up mammo images in his work – looks good over the mantel I’m sure!

    Reply
  2. We’ve already bought the frames. I’m thinking an arrangement of 4 would be lovely.

    Reply
  3. Pingback: My Astounding Breasts « Confessions of a Renegade Mom

  4. What complications can arise from mammograms following the x-ray: redness, swelling, and pain from nipple to internal elbow if the xray is not taken properly. Unless the patient is positioned comfortably and stably, sitting, with the table low enough to reduce chest pressure on the breasts, and the vice compression gradient low enough not to cause breast fibrous tissue damage, gross reduction of circulating blood flow and reduced peripheral nerve & lymph disruption there should be no pain or little pain following the procedure. If pain continues from nipple to affected arm elbow, the technician has used too much pressure, positioned you incorrectly, and can cause rupture and tearing if the pectoral muscle where your breast attaches to the chest wall, damage even permanently your circulation to this area and even cut off your breast. Then five days later the breast will show purple bruising to your underarm. THe machine cost is over 500,000 dollars. England is researching a new device which uses soft cup sized containers for a woman or man to lie face down on the machine.It beams sonar beams around the breast circumferance enhancing and problem areas, if there are any, show up as a different colour in the 3-D rather than 2-D picture. No compression which can and has caused permanent chest wall damage needs be applied. The test take 10 seconds or less. Why aren’t women complaining about pain which does follow this exam? The machine has not provided advanced design comfort maesures for them since its inception 25 years ago.

    Reply

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