Normally I’d agree and be all:
- BUT THE CHILDREN!!!!
But really? You parents who haven’t taught your children to treat others with respect, who haven’t required it, who haven’t gone out of your way to ensure that it’s happening even when you’re not around? You and your kids suck.
My children aren’t perfect.
I’m not delusional. But they’re decent human beings. They’re polite, they don’t go out of their way to make y
our child miserable. Not only would their father and I NOT let them, they wouldn’t let themselves. You know why?
and my children aren’t mean.
This is my daughter.
She is sweet and kind and sensitive and smart. She’s good to her family and her friends. She has beautiful eyes, gorgeous hair, a pretty smile, and an infectious laugh. She comes home in tears because of the abuse hurled her way. She is starting to believe the whispers and incorporate the cruel words of others into her internal script. “I know I’m not pretty.”
I don’t know why these cruel children would care about someone else’s appearance so much. I don’t know why they’d make a sport out of hurting someone who has done nothing to hurt them.
For the first time in my parenting life I am powerless to protect her and it’s killing me. I will not lie and say I’m not disappointed that she chooses to hide and avoid rather than face them head on. She says drawing even more attention to herself would make things 10 times worse. I guess since she lives in this world of jr. high a*holes she would know. Still, I can’t help but think that if she didn’t accept their abuse, if she spoke up and made them look her in the eye and repeat their whispers and own them, that they might see that she’s not someone they need to be messing with. But what if she followed my advice and things did get worse? What then??
So parents of “populars,” check in with your kids. Listen up as you drive them from party to party and practice to practice. Take the time to remind them how they’re expected to treat others, remind them how quickly the tide turns and how one day they might find themselves on the receiving end of some pretty emotionally brutal treatment. Repeat after me, “Compassion is Cool.”
Let’s hope this tide turns for my girl, but until it does she and I will be here: